New Year's Resolutions - Planning for Positive Change

Are you starting to contemplate your New Year resolutions? Or have you resolved never to make a New Year's resolution again? If the latter, you're not alone. Many people get demoralized when, year after year, they make resolutions that they keep for only a few weeks.

Why is this? After all, we all have the best intentions, and the timing (new year, new start) couldn't be better. A key problem lies in the fact that we place a huge amount of pressure on ourselves. During the last week of December and the first week of January, it can seem that all you hear is, "What are your New Year's resolutions? " "What are you going to work on this year?".

And the focus is on the "what" not the "how." When you are more concerned with the goal you set than on the specifics of how you are going to accomplish it, this can quickly lead to failure.

So, if you resolve to set successful New Year resolutions, read on. Let's focus on how, this year, you can set yourself up to achieve them!

New Year Resolution Mistakes

There are two common mistakes that people tend to make when they start to make their New Year resolutions: They think about what they "should" do, rather than what they really want to do. And worse, they think about what they should stop doing, rather than what they actually want to achieve. "What should I do this year?" "What should I stop doing?", "What do other people suggest I should work on?"

To be successful at any change, you need to really want it. Unless you take the time to think about what it is that you really want you (rather than what you should do or should stop doing), you will invariably end up making resolutions that you are not fully committed to.

Without commitment, you aren't motivated. After the first setbacks or obstacles, you'll probably quit. So the first rule of New Year Resolutions is to only make resolutions that you can commit to – don't make them because it is "the thing to do", or because someone has told you that you should.

The irony of it is that New Year's resolutions have the potential to be very powerful, because making them is such a well recognized practice. Everyone knows that everyone else is setting resolutions. And what a great mutual support network that can provide!

This external motivation and support, along with your internal motivation – your desire to succeed – is what can make the difference between success and failure.

Eight Rules for New Year's Resolutions

Our Eight Rules for New Year's Resolutions will help to set you up for success right from the start. Inevitably you will come up against challenges and road blocks along the way; however by planning ahead and following these rules, you'll be better placed to deal with these problems easily, rather than stumble and quit.

Rule 1: Commit to Your Resolution

Successful resolutions start with a strong commitment to make a change. To succeed, you must believe that you can accomplish what you set out to do, and really want to achieve it. Bolster that belief and desire by doing the following:

1. Choose resolutions that you really want to achieve – and express them in a positive way.
2. Announce your resolution to everyone around you – they will help to hold you accountable.
3. Develop a ceremony to mark the beginning of your commitment – this makes it more "real" and special for you.
4. Don't leave your choice of resolution to the last minute - take time to think about your goals, and make sure that you are mentally committed to them.
5. Questions to ask yourself to determine if you can take ownership of your resolution include:

• Is this resolution my idea or someone else's?
• Does this resolution motivate and invigorate me?
• Does this resolution sit comfortably with other factors in my life, such as my values and long-term plans?
  

6. Remember that there's no reason why your New Year's resolution should take all year to achieve!

Tip:
Imagery is a powerful technique to help you own and commit to your resolutions. Picture yourself having attained your goal. How do you feel? How do you look? Where are you, and what are you doing? How do others react to you? By visualizing yourself in the position you desire, you can bolster your belief that you can achieve your goal, and strengthen your desire to do so.

Rule 2: Be Realistic

The key to achieving goals is continued motivation. If you set goals that are too difficult, you risk failing. Consistently failing at something is profoundly de-motivating (it's no wonder that after a few dismal attempts, some people abandon the idea of New Year's resolutions altogether!)

1. Think carefully before setting the same resolution that you set last year. If it didn't work for you then, make sure that there is good reason that you can achieve it this year. What has changed? Do you have more commitment to make it work? (Be careful, or else you will end up with a repeat performance, and another failed resolution!)
2. Aim lower, rather than too high – aim for something that is challenging, but that you have a good chance of accomplishing. If there is any doubt, err on the side of caution and expand your goal later if you want to keep improving.
3. Don't try to do too much. There is no reason to set more than one or two resolutions. Anymore than that, and you'll lose focus, and lessen your chances of success in any one area.
   

Rule 3: Write It Down

A simple but powerful technique for making your goal feel real is to put your resolution into writing. There is something inside us that creates more commitment and drive when we do this. Consider writing your resolution down on pieces of card, and keeping it where you'll see it often – on your desk, on the fridge door, or in your wallet.

Rule 4: Make a Plan

This is where so many resolutions fall down. Articulating what you want to achieve is one thing; deciding how to do it is quite another. Don't miss out this step!

1. Start by envisioning where you want to be.
2. Then work back along your path to where you are today, writing down all of the milestones that you need to pass in between.
3. Decide what you will do to reach each of these milestones, at least at a high level. (You can plan in more detail as you reach that stage.)
   

Rule 5: Be Flexible

Not everything will work out precisely the way you planned. If you are too rigid in your approach to making resolutions, the first minor obstacle can throw you off your course completely.

1. When creating your plan, try to predict some of the challenges that you will face. Make a contingency plan for the ones that have the highest probability, and mentally prepare yourself for others, just in case they come up.
2. Realize that your resolution itself may change along the way. As long as this is positive, that's not failure, it's reality. As your life changes, so will your goals, dreams, and desires. Remember Rule 1 (Commit to Your Resolution): If you need to make changes to the goal so that you continue to care about it, do so.
   

Tip:
There is no fixed rule saying that a resolution must be set in January. If your circumstances mean that it is better to wait until March, then do so. Resolution making and goal setting are a year round activity.

Rule 6: Use a System of Reminders

It's hard to keep focused on your plan when you have many other commitments, responsibilities, and obligations. The best way to stay on top of your resolution is to develop a formal reminder system.

1. We'll say it again: have your written resolutions visible at as many times of the day as possible. Leave reminders at work, at home, in the car, on your calendar, in your briefcase, and so on.
2. Make sure that the actions you have planned are on your To-Do List (perhaps have a special section for them at the top).
3. Set up reminders in your desktop calendar or subscribe to an email reminder service.
4. Think creatively about how you can remind yourself of your resolutions, so that they stay in the front of your mind.
   

Rule 7: Track Your Progress

You won't know how well you are doing unless you keep track of your progress. This is why your detailed plan is so important. By building excitement around the little successes, you can keep yourself motivated, and keep pushing forwards.

1. Use a journal and regularly make an entry in it regarding your progress.
2. Note when you felt particularly pleased with your efforts.
3. Note when you felt down, or felt like quitting. Over time, look for common themes and decide if there is an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.
4. Record challenges you faced, as well as things that went better than planned.
5. Look back at your entries on a regular basis, and use your past experiences to shape your attitude as you move forward.
6. Ask a friend or family member to call you on pre-defined occasions to discuss your progress.
   

Rule 8: Reward Yourself

Although knowledge of a job well done can be reward enough, we all enjoy a little treat from time to time. Even the most committed person needs a boost, and sometimes that is best accomplished through an external reward.

When you are developing your plan, make a note of a few milestones where you will reward yourself once you have achieved them. But spread them out – you want to make sure that the rewards remain special, and are not too easy to get!

Key Points

New Year's resolutions can be a pain or a pleasure – the choice is yours! If they're a pain, you may resolve never to make a resolution again, so resolve to make them a pleasure! The starting point is to focus on something that you really want and are ready to give your commitment to. Do this and you'll be in a great position to stay motivated and be successful!

As you plan your New Year resolutions, apply the Eight Rules to set yourself up for success.

p/s : Thanks to Mr Mehan for sharing this :)

Gile Cuak!!

Situation 1

Yesterday I've got OB midterm paper. First paper to be exact. Yours truly took medical leave just to study & studo. :P 6 questions from 6 chapters each & I had to answer only 3 questions. Theres tips given by the lecturer, but still need to do a lot of reading & memorizing. Gosh.. Once I read the questions, its not an application based, all theoretical questions. >.< So, ended up.. jawab sesuka hati.. lalala.. (gumbira di luar, tapi nangis di dalam)

Situation 2

I just back from class today. As I entered to my home-sweet-home, I heard someone sedang menukul.. Whose on earth yang bertukang memalam buta nih?? (Tp malam blum nak buta lg sbb baru kul 9:30) :P Fyi, jiran sebelah-menyebelah tiada, parents & lil bro went to surau, Bee still not back yet (skrg pun blom balik lg >.<)..

Dalam pikiran.. adakah pencuri masuk umah arwah nenek? I was scared to death.. Trus call Bee. Bee siap suruh g surau, bgtau parents. Heh.. and ayah's responses, "Awk balik la dulu, ayah nak kemas surau.." Adeh.. xpuas hati lagi nie.. siap g tny student chayanunalif yang sewa sebelah umah arwah nenek. "Tadi awk ada mengetuk-ngetuk ke? atau ada dengar orang mengetuk-ngetuk x?" "Oh!! Pintu bilik atas sudah rosak, kami betulkan pintu.." Lolipop..

Decisions are easy when values are clear

The Choice...
You awaken and immediately decide, it's going to be a great day or you decide that it's not.

You drive to work and the car next to you suddenly cuts you off, you can choose to immediately respond with understanding or with anger.

You get to work and your boss tells you about a change in operations that will happen next week. You can choose to be excited about the opportunity or fearful of the change.

Later in the day, you are asked to lunch by a couple of new guys from another department. You can decide to make new friends and go or be small and kindly decline.

Before you leave for the day, you receive an email about giving to an annual charity campaign. You can choose to give freely or hold on tightly.

When you get home, your toddler asks you to play 'batman and monsters.' You can make the choice to join in the fun or refuse.

At dinner, the dog jumps on your lap again, who let the dog in anyway? You can choose to be patient and calmly let the dog outside or you can show your frustration and fatigue.

After dinner, your oldest child brings in his math test, he earned a 'B.' You can choose to encourage and recognize the effort or tear him down by asking why it wasn't an 'A.'

When you go to work in your shop later in the evening, you can choose to wear PPE and work safely or you can make the choice not to wear it.

At bedtime, as you turn off the light, you can choose to tell your spouse what he/she means to you or you can keep quiet.

What kind of day would it have been if you chose the former in all cases?

What type of day would it have been if you had decided on the latter in all situations?

In these cases there are not any 'rights' or 'wrongs' just simple choices. The hidden secret of life however is that we are a product of the simple decisions we make each moment. Each day we make hundreds if not thousands of choices. We make a conscious choice for happiness, leadership, a smile, love, kindness or generosity. Or we just as easily opt for smallness, fear, anger, resentment, bitterness or hatred.

So, what type of day is it? The choice is up to you...

Clarify Your Values by Brian Tracy

Decide What You Stand For
What are your values? What do you stand for? What are the organizing principles of your life? What are your core beliefs? What virtues do you aspire to, and hold in high regard when you see them demonstrated by others? What will you not stand for? What would you sacrifice for, suffer for, and even die for? These are extremely important questions that are only asked by about three percent of the population, and that small minority tends to be the movers and shakers in every society.

Write Out Your Key Values
When I first began this values clarification exercise some years ago, I wrote out a list of 163 qualities that I aspired to. I think I eventually came up with every virtue, value or positive descriptive adjective that referred to personality and character in the dictionary. And I agreed with all of them. I felt that they were all important and I wanted to incorporate every single one of them into my character.

Focus On A Few Core Beliefs
But then reality set in. I realized that it is very hard to learn even one new quality, or to change even one thing about myself, let alone dozens of things. So I scaled down my ambitions and began narrowing the values down to a small number that I could manage and work with. Once I had settled on about five core beliefs, I was then able to get to work on myself and start making some progress in character development.

Select Your Five Key Values
You should do the same. You should write down the five values that you feel are the most important for you to live by. Once you have those five values, you then organize them in order of priority. Which is the most important value in your hierarchy of values? Which would be second? Which would be third, and so on?

Learn To Make Better Decisions
Every choice or decision you make is based on your values. Whenever you decide between alternatives, you invariably choose the alternative that you value the most. Because you can only do one thing at a time, everything you do is a demonstration of what you consider to be the most important at that moment. Therefore, organizing your values in an order of priority is the starting point of personal strategic planning. It is only when you are clear about what you value, and in what order, that you are capable of planning and organizing the other activities of your life.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action:

First, clarify your core beliefs and your unifying principles. Write them down and compare your life today with the values that are really important to you. How are you doing?

Second, organize your values in order of their importance to you. Which of your values is most important? Which is second? And so on. Do your current choices reflect this order of values

p/s : I just wanna share with u guys what I've learned in my OB class and how I wish Bee were sitting besides me in the class.. **sigh**